Too soon?
When we were all quarantined during the pandemic, I found a bunch of family photo albums in our basement. I brought them upstairs to the heart of our home, the kitchen, where I saw my mother sitting at the table and sipping on her favorite mix of hot water and pineapple. I joined her at the table and asked her if we could look through the photos together.
We opened the albums and the stories unfolded.
I listened to her elaborate tales of how my grandparents met, how my parents escaped to the United States of America, how my brother learned to moonwalk as a kid, and more. One photo that caught my eye was of my father's dad, my grandfather. He was in the kitchen wearing his favorite Adidas tracksuit and smiling at the camera. On the counter in front of him, there was a massive whole salmon just chilling on the cutting board. I stared at that picture for a long time.
I never knew my grandfather (deda). When I was three years old, he had a sudden heart attack on New Year's Day and passed away in the hospital by January 2nd. I heard so many stories about him. Stories of how he was an amazing, kind, and funny man. Stories of how many people he helped, how he loved everyone with such a full heart, and how every little thing my brother and I did brought him so much joy. Stories of how the funeral home was so packed when he passed away that people had to stand outside cause there was no space inside. He was one of four children and went out of his way for every single person in his family--no matter if it was his sisters, cousins, or third cousins. He was just always there for everyone.
One story I was told is how one day, his youngest sister was sick and his parents couldn't afford to buy the medication. He was taking classes in college at the time, but when he found out, he left the house early in the morning. It was late at night and he was still out. Everyone was worried where he went. Shortly after, he rushed into the house with his bag in one hand and a medicine bottle in the other. Apparently, he missed classes that day to ask around for a quick job to make the money for the medicine. He worked all day until he raised enough.
He loved with a full heart and even when he was in his sixties and in a new country, he would stand outside (there were no cellphones then) and wait until he saw his other sister (the second youngest of the family) leaving her job located down the block so that he could safely walk her home every day.
I heard these kinds of stories and more, and I always felt such profound sadness at the fact that I didn't remember him. I wished more than anything to have that connection to my grandfather like everyone else did. I still think about how life would be different if he was still here. I wanted to be the one to tell my future children about what an amazing grandfather he was to me, but unfortunately, I'll never get that chance.
About a week or so after that album sharing session, I watched a lox recipe I found on Bon Appetit made by Brad Leone. I got inspired and decided to make it. Not surprisingly, it ended up being delicious. Then, I went on a lox-making binge.
When I told my grandfather's sister about the latest lox recipe, she smiled and said "You remind me of your grandfather right now. He loved making lox, he actually had a recipe that I still use to this day". She shared that recipe with me right then.
As I made this recipe, I paused and smiled, cause I realized this was the connection to my grandfather that I desperately wanted. I took the first lox recipe I ever made (and the recipe that came from one of my favorite video creators), the Brad Leone Bon Appetit recipe, and fused it with an old recipe of my grandfather's that is still used today. It was the old and the new, the granddaughter and grandfather, both joining together with the same passion to create the ultimate lox recipe.
Even though I didn't know my grandfather, I still smiled as hard as he did in that photo because I know I have my own story with him now.
Before
After
Mine and Deda's Lox Recipe
(No loxsmith required)
Ingredients
Serves 4-6 people
2 lb Salmon (Atlantic Preferred)
1/2 c Salt
1/8 c Brown Sugar
1/8 c White Sugar
2 Bay Leaves
4 tsp pink peppercorn
4 tsp turmeric
1 tsp grated ginger
1/2 tsp lemon zest
a pinch of red chili flakes
Steps
Clean the salmon well. Keep the skin on, but remove any extra bones you might find.
In a spice grinder, blend the bay leaves and peppercorns together.
Add that mix into a bowl with the salt, sugars, turmeric, ginger, lemon zest, and red chili flakes.
Generously coat the salmon in the curing mix and wrap with clingfilm.
Poke some holes (with a toothpick is fine) into the skin side to puncture the clingfilm.
Place in a tray or similar sized plate that's lined with paper towels.
Keep in the fridge for 5-6 days (minimum: 4 days). Replace the paper towels daily.
When cured for the time recommended, remove from the clingfilm and rinse off the fish. It should be a different color than when it began.
Slice carefully against the grain and store the slices in an airtight container.
To eat: Serve on toast or a bagel that is shmeared with cream cheese or butter. Top with sliced red onions, a drizzle of olive oil, a squeeze of lemon, freshly chopped dill or cilantro, and some ground pink peppercorn. Enjoy!
Substitution Suggestions
Same measurements apply.
Vegan: I assume you can use 3 large carrots, double the recipe, and do a salt-cured bake. (Coat until you can't see the carrots and bake it at 475 F for 40 min-60 mins) Let me know if that works or not! Serve with margarine or vegan cream cheese, I like the Kite Hill.
Vegetarian: See Vegan substitution. Serve alongside your favorite dairy cream cheese.
Gluten-Free: This dish is gluten free. Can be served with your favorite gluten free bread.
Dairy-Free: This dish is dairy free. Can be served with margarine or a vegan cream cheese.
Sugar-Free: Substitute sugar with Stevia.
Kosher: This dish is kosher.
Halal: This dish is halal.
Let me know what you think of the recipe and comment any extra substitution suggestions you might have!
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